Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Egypt Loves You!


Unless you are an American taking pictures! We hate Americans who take pictures!
And don't you dare be a woman! 
We hate women... actually we love to raaaaape women! 
We take oh so much delight in violence against women!

                                                                          AND RAPE!!

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Idiocracy In America Is Quickly Becoming Reality.

 It's been a long time since I've updated my blog but since I'm slightly less busy with work I've decided to try to take some time to do something more productive. Some of you more liberal types will consider this "less productive" and to this I say "good" because I hate you and the reason is our problems in this world are mostly your fault. I shall begin with this.

Lead in 1 -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icmRCixQrx8
2nd Part -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8rhIZJAdd0

I work with thousands of people and I travel regularly so I see a lot of things and most of it just give me a migraine. Our society is getting dumber by the day and I constantly get the argument that we need to just live and let live or even worse just let the gene pool become more shallow, muddier, and begin to glow ever brighter full of terrifying pollutants while continuing to ensure that these creatures can "live a good life". I ask why?

For example. Today I was at a facility and an individual there was telling me some first hand stories that I shall now proceed to lay out for you.

Story # 1: Little boy is in the hospital, his mother calls his workplace to tell his father that he's "going on a helicopter ride" yes that is how she put it, like it's a fun amusement park ride. She talked to his boss who asked if she need him there right then. She told him "no, it's alright, it's almost quittin' time, just bring him over when he's done". Boss doesn't want to freak out employee who usually rides home with wife because he has had too many dui's and can't drive so he tells him he'll be taking him home. Employee asks no questions. They leave work a bit later and should turn right to take employee home and employee never notices. they go completely the wrong direction and drive and drive while employee never takes notice. They arrive at the hospital and employee still never takes notice. Boss then tells employee that little boy is in hospital and they have to go in and employee just picks up lunch box and follows him in.

The two of them arrive at the desk in the E.R. and the boss asks for the little boy and the nurse says they need some info. The boss tells her that so and so is the father so the nurse asks him the boy's age. Employee stands there looking bewildered. He thinks... thinks some more... he doesn't know. The nurse gives up and says she'll get it elsewhere. The two of them proceed in toward the boy and find a waiting doctor who decides the boss looks to be more competent and begins telling him what happened. The boy has too much sugar in his system from Coca-Cola and Macaroni and Cheese. It turns out that he kept asking for more so his mother just kept feeding him. Four Pounds... That's right, FOUR POUNDS of Macaroni and Cheese and Two Liters, yes that's also right, 2 LITERS of Coca-Cola in ONE SITTING. The boss told the doc who he was and that he was just a bystander and they moved on the the mother who reiterated that the son was going on a lovely helicopter ride. The father thought that was nice.

Days later when the boss asked how the boy was he was doing alright and weeks later the employee was excited to find out that they "might be trying to find a place for the boy to live up there" because he was too stupid to understand what that meant.

Story # 2 Different Family

Multiple children all young adults. One of them decided that her mother was the devil and murdered her with a knife. She got three life sentences without possibility of parole. Boss makes the mistake (says the boss) of asking how the daughter in prison is doing. Employee says "oh she's doing great, she says they're educating her to become a therapist to help others like her when she gets out." Ummmm... does "without possibility of parole" mean anything to anybody? Then the employee proceeds to tell the boss "but she got into a scuffle with another "resident" and "I told her, you have to be careful, there are rapists and murders in there!" Well no shit there are... Did anybody inform you that your daughter is one of those murderers? Cutting your mother up with a knife makes you a murderer last I checked. But on the bright side the employee told his boss, she met a new lady friend in there who said she was "going to take good care of her." Boss was quite impressed that a 63 year old man had no idea what was meant by that and quite frankly so am I.

Story # 3 Another Family Yet

Son is 22 years old... he is not considered mentally retarded (yes I said retarded and not handicapped) he is supposed to be a fully functioning adult. His father confided as if it was barely out of the ordinary that they hoped to get him bathing on his own. Yes, bathing on his own, as in his mother still bathes him. Yes you heard me right. He is 22 years old and his mother bathes him and they hope to get him doing it on his own so they can get him out and find him a woman and "get them some grand kids." Holy-mother-of-christ! Can you imagine the potential consequences of that?! I know I don't even want to think about it. I certainly don't want it added to my tax dollar pay in as it certainly will be.

Story # 4 Yet Another

2 Brother Who Live Together

One of the brothers is married. This brother and his wife are having marital troubles and they get a divorce. The other brother marries the first brother's ex wife. They still live together. She still packs both their lunches as she always did. WHAT THE FUCK?!

These people are allowed to vote for things that affect us! Have you ever thought about this shit? If you haven't then do it now! We need to start letting nature take its course and start letting nature pick off some of these creatures.

Friday, July 16, 2010

I'm Back! "Idiot Racist Spouts off To Dillinger"

I'll say first that I know, it's been a terribly long time since I last posted.  I know many of you have surely stopped checking if you checked before.  For this I'm sorry.  I've been very busy and life hasn't allowed me a lot of free time to complain about life on my blog.  I've decided that for the time being I'll only post things that I really consider to be worth the time.  Those of you who have read my blog before know my stance on idiocy.  I can't stand stupid people and I make no attempt to be nice to them.  I'm simply incapable of political correctness or humoring the dumb in any way, shape, or form.  For this reason I've decide that I simply must post this for the world to see.

I recently got into a debate with a "friend" on facebook.  One of those people who added me and for some reason though I'm not sure what reason, I added the guy.  He posted this particular article on his page and I found myself unable to let it go.

The Headline.

"Jesse Jackson Believes Cavs Owner Saw LeBron As 'Runaway Slave'"

This is the actual article

The day after LeBron James announced his decision to head to Miami, Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert issued a letter to Cleveland fans trashing James and promising to bring the town a title before James gets one. Today, Jesse Jackson criticized Gilbert for viewing James as a “runaway slave” and called the owner’s comments “mean, arrogant and presumptuous.”

"He speaks as an owner of LeBron and not the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers," Jackson said in a press release. "His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave. This is an owner employee relationship — between business partners — and LeBron honored his contract."

Jackson went on to say that Gilbert’s comments are an attack on all NBA players, and that he should face a “challenge” from the league. Strangely, Jackson did not mention Gilbert’s egregious font selection in his critique.

Let me first just say that anybody that listens to that charlatan and assclown Jesse Jackson and believes a word he says is an idiot.  Now here's the "debate" exactly as it went down but with the names changed to protect the stupid (don't ask me why... dumb people tend to bring frivolous lawsuits for things they cause I guess).  I'll just call the first guy "Racist Guy" and I'll call the third party who added comments "Third Party Guy" and of course I'll play myself as "Dillinger."

Racist Guy:

One might argue, "yea right, who ever heard of a 60 million dollar slave" but if you did u'd be missing the point. Dan Gilbert spoke about James like he owned him. the zeros behind Jame's salary isn't the point, white racism is. If you think someone owes you anything beyond their contract, you're mistaken and an opportunist who's upset their money couldn't buy free will. Old rich white money makes me sick. I can't wait until certain persons from older generations die and leave their money to their grandchildren who voted for Obama dated black girls.

Third Party Guy:

Leave it to jesse jackson to stir things up. we all say hurtful things to people under certain circumstances. Hell when isaacs mom left I said some nasty shit that i really did mean but i just wanted to try to hurt her because i was hurt. Now if you scale that up to a corporate level its the same thing but millions of more people hear about it. he was upset his star player left and he said what he thought was right at the time even if it wasn't the right thing to say.

Jackson is always throwing out the race card and its hard to even listen to what he has to say anymore. I can see a point to it but this is modern day Rome where all professional sports players(white or black or Hispanic or Asian) are slaves if you want to look at it that way. Remember how it was when Barry Bonds left the Pirates and everytime he came to play against them? or when Bam Morris left the Steelers? fans are just as guilty and without fans there would be no teams which then there would be no owner.

Do you see a Cleveland Cavalier boycott next season or any team? probably not because no one cares about it that much. most people wouldn't see what he said as racist. LeBron will be old news and people will come to the games to watch their team.

As for LeBron he is a great player but who really needs that ego of his. You never saw MJ do that or even Allen Iverson one of the biggest ball hogs never pulled that crap of having a special. Wayne Gretsky? Tupac one of the greatest rappers to exist never held an hour long special to announce he's signing with Death Row.
 I respect your opinion though.

Racist Guy:
Very insightful, but does Gilbert affirm his position or does he think he has grounds to stand on?

And of course Jackson played the race card, he's a civil rights leader, that's what he's suppose to do, and that's what he does. Opposing that is like saying, why is the Wall St. Journal always talking about money.

Dillinger:

Playing the race card in modern America is racist, most of the time it creates race issues by calling people racist who aren't racist. You don't bring racial peace or equality by demanding anything more than equality... which is basically all that piece of s#%$ Jackson does. This is a joke.

Racist Guy:

Dang Dillinger, are u Jesse Jackson's illegitimate son? because that's some serious thoughts u got about him. I joke, but while this Lebron thing may or maybe not be post-Obama American racism, do u really think talking less about race issues would alleviate race issues? I mean I got 1st hand experience thanks to the NYCPD, that prove racism is alive and well. Are you saying if I don't bring em up than racism will become a thing of the past?

Dillinger:

You're right about that, I do have plenty of thoughts on Jesse Jackson. I've done my research and I'm certainly willing to say pretty much whatever it is that I'm thinking. You'll never completely get rid of racism because you'll never get rid of stupid. As long as people are different in any way (not just skin color) people will disagree on things and as long as they do they'll fight with any weapon they can (including skin color). This subject is so ridiculously vast I'm not touching it on facebook, only when if ever, an actual face to face discussion can be had.

There are bad cops everywhere and they're mean to white people to I promise. The fact of the matter is, look at the criminal statistics? They don't do this sh** just to be jerks most of the time. I hate stupid people. Do you know why? I see so many totally idiotic, inexcusable morons in my line of work I'm sick of it and I don't deal very well with it all the time. Nice, no, politically (communist) correct, no, but reality, yes. Really, honestly? Of course not everybody fits that but not everybody is smart enough to reason.

The point is that when you look for racism in everything you'll find racism everywhere. Guess what, I absolutely despise Obama. He's a socialist a**clown and the worst and most destructive idiot of a president we have ever had and that's got nothing to do with him being black. Do you know how many times I've been called racist (honestly) simply because the president that I speak so firmly against happens to be black? Nobody asks what I thought of Bush, who was also an idiot. Remember Bush doesn't care about black people? How about Louisiana now all oil soaked with how many white fisherman losing their livelihoods? So Obama doesn't care about white people?

Racism is there if you look for it but does that mean it's real? If anything, the majority of white people are so idiotically anti-racist that they actually put anybody who is of a different race or culture on a pedestal above themselves. The thing is that racism won't die until the issues die that cause "racists". Until minorities don't lead the crime rates (they weren't framed even if Jesse would think so) and until blacks aren't every bit as racist or probably more so than whites overall. Bet you live through a trip into Malibu at night but I don't live through a trip into the Compton at night. Until people on one side stop using past as a crutch for the future, it will never stop.

I still hear sh** about reparations. F***ing really!? Telling somebody else that "you owe me for what somebody did to a possible relative I never knew 200+ years ago" is idiotic, presumptive, and parasitic... especially when most of us who are supposedly part of the problem didn't even have relatives here then. When somebody who's a minority can get automatic preference for a job over me despite being far less qualified, when he can't be fired because there's a quota, when a job can't be started because the quota isn't filled, SOMETHING IS WRONG. 


That's certainly racism but not the kind Jesse and Al claim.

How about fire fighters when only whites pass a test with a score that's enough to get a promotion so nobody gets promoted. We've set a standard that is unacceptable. We've surpassed equal treatment and we require preferential treatment and that breeds resentment. Until the system is fixed, things really are fair, and everybody shuts their whiny mouths and learn to stand the f*** up and quit feeling sorry for themselves and fix their own situations then we will always have this same problem. This whole nation full of sorry, p***ified, crybaby, entitlement culture, hand-out expecting, uneducated, poor excuses for what doesn't even deserve to be called Americans now and that includes all races.

You're saying that "Old, rich, white, money, makes you sick" and you don't think that's a racist statement? It is. Posting this sort of thing, acting in this sort of way doesn't make things better it pi**es people off and makes them want to fight you. Al and Jesse are nothing but clowns who are trying to bully evil whitey into a free pass for blacks for everything from behavior over the whole to something as idiotic as reparations if they can get it. Morons who should be deported. As long as anybody is pointing out race anywhere let alone as much as it's used in the black community it will continue to appear and act as a divider and that's exactly what these so called leaders want.

Third Party Guy:

That is impressive. A lot of people don't stop and take the time to think like that. Also not many think for themselves if they do think at all. People hear someone like Jesse say something and then they are backing him up 100% without taking the time to rationalize for themselves. That behavior is sickening.

Most of my childhood i grew up in Pittsburgh and when we moved up here i would spend most summers with my grandma down there. One summer my cousin and myself were walking my grandmas dog minding our own business and we got jumped by a lot of older black kids. My cousin took off running and I'm on the ground getting kicked and punched. I'm there bleeding all over and screaming for help. Finally someone came over and broke it up and his name was Dwayne which happened to be a black kid too.

What I'm trying to get at is just because that happened and psychologically scarred me, it doesn't make me hate against a certain race. Lots of people would use that as an excuse to be racist.

Racist Guy:

I feel ya Third Party Guy, and Dillinger, let me ask you this: If a wealthy White family could trace the foundation of their income to 6 generations of free labor (ie. slavery) and if a certain Black person could trace their lineage to workers who were never paid for their work, who were born and died in bondage, owned like cattle, not allowed to marry, own anything, and legally considered only a percent of human; Dillinger tell me why financial compensation should not be made? Tell me why that OLD WHITE MONEY should stay in the hands of children of criminals? 

Receiving stolen goods is supposed to be illegal, right?... and by the way, statistically, White women are the #1 benefiters of affirmative action because technically they are the largest minorities... and unless you've changed since I new you from back in the day, I wouldn't say you're racist; but you do sound insensitive to the deep seated pain that wasn't erased when slavery ended. Some historians argue that Blacks had it worse under Jim Crow than under slavery...AND minorities don't commit crimes, poor people commit crimes. Do minorities tend to be poorer? yes, but the issue isn't race, the issue is resources. Therefore there is no argument to be made on behalf of the cop unless I look poor to them, and I don't look poor, I look Black.

Dillinger:

Why shouldn't the compensation be made by the Africans who sold their fellow Africans to the Europeans who brought them here and sold them? How many blacks in Africa currently are still victimizing other blacks? How many inner city blacks are still victimizing other blacks?

He who is without sin my friend.

Compensation should be made, if you can present the actual live slave holder and the actual, live slave who was forced to work for him. I didn't have any say or any fault in what my great, great, great grandfather did so why should I pay for it (even if my grandparents had been here). Study your history there hoss. Just as many red, white, brown, and yellow men and women have been enslaved throughout the ages as have blacks and not one of them has been compensated. They also don't cry and whine about it. What the f*** makes you feel that blacks are more special? Being MORE recent than MOST does not make it any more special.

This culture of dependence, hate, laziness, and entitlement have been very well cultivated by these so called "black leaders." Nothing but incitement that would get a white man doing the same thing, black list and demonized in modern America when it gets them recognized as great men. I think you've lived in NY too long.

I do have deep seated pain. I have deep seated pain because of resentment of people (of any color) who feel that I, or anybody but his or herself is responsible for providing him or her anything. I'm tired of it always being somebody else's fault and I'm sick of the lack of responsibility among individuals for their own situations.

I know, poor people commit crimes, minorities tend to be poorer. I've heard that mess before. Maybe people end up poor because the have no parental guidance, drop out of school, commit a felony or 3, and then can't get a job because of it. Maybe people end up poor because they're just stupid... really, mentally deficient (again, all races). Survival of the fittest. Yes, maybe it does lack compassion but I have my own problems and I don't need anybody else's problems to fix on top of my own.

Minorities also are taught tend to resent white people and culture or anything they associate with it including education. It's not white people's fault that so many black children grow up with no father. It's not white people's fault that so many black women get left with 1, 2, 3 children without a father. It is up to the black community to stop waiting for white people to just give until things get fixed because it just makes lazier and lazier people who need more and more. The black community must stand up, man up, and begin pulling itself up from within by taking responsibility instead of waiting for somebody else to do it.

As for the cop, yeah, you look black... Maybe the cop was racist... your comment about white women and black men and old white money was too. Maybe he deals with way too many black criminals. Maybe he only did that particular day. Maybe he's just a moron. He is not all of us.


If we start doling out cash settlements to every individual or relative of an individual who has ever been and ever is wronged by somebody else the whole world would crash and burn in chaos. For f*** sake, we already have walking atrocity in the current state of our overly litigious society full of freebie graspers and ambulance chasers suing over current s*** that is of course not their fault. At least the old lady who sues when she spills McDonald's hot coffee on herself can say that she's trying to get compensation for something that actually happened to her personally.

Even if you do still think that you're particularly oppressed and that reparations are deserved... I'm fairly confident in saying hop in line because the Jews are going to get paid first. They've pretty much been oppressed by just about everybody for the vast majority of written time and the Muslims are still trying to kill them, no particular reasoning necessary. Funny thing is, they seem to manage a thriving nation despite all that and they aren't crying for handouts.
After a bit more consideration I've come to a conclusion. I may be willing to concede that reparations are just if you'll agree to this. If any ancestor of yours or anybody else ever harmed or wronged another and was not caught or did not legally suffer for that wrong then any of his decendents may be held legally or financially responsible for the past unpaid debt no matter the generation gap. Therefore, if it were to be found tomorrow that your great, great, grandfather murdered somebody and got away with it then you shall justly be executed for it.

In fact, you'll have to make good on all those decades of late fines out of your family savings before you are executed. If you simply want reparations for prevailing wage at the time, for a white man of course, then I would say $500 per family total would more than cover it. Any welfare pay collected by the individual counts against the debt.


Oh, and if you would like to hear a story sometime... I'll tell you, or better yet I'll have my fiance tell you of the misery she went through for over a year working under a black and VERY racist boss who treated her like absolute s***. Unless of course you actually believe and based on your previous argument I'm not sure you don't, that blacks can't be racist against whites.

Racist Guy:

You got too much anger in you man, i think u need Jesus.

Dillinger:
Ha. That's not so much anger as your misinterpretation and unwillingness to accept cold, hard, logic and basic reality. Intelligence, knowledge, and rationality are the only Jesus I'll ever need.

Racist Guy:

:-)

Dillinger:

As I thought.

And that's how it was left.

Tell me that I'm wrong, anybody.... I'm all ears.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I Hate Political Carbon Copy Talking Head Reporters



People wonder why I hate Liberals yet won’t identify as a conservative either.  Though the Liberals stand for the vast majority of what I hate, the Conservatives pull this shit.  “I spent 8 seconds viewing a video game trailer that didn’t include the clip I’m talking about and therefore I didn’t see, but I’m going to make all sorts of grandios statements about the clip I didn’t see anyhow.”  Then of course they throw in a Psychology “Specialist” (in other words she isn’t a doctor and is probably an undergraduate student) to add her barely informed opinion on the matter.  Of course she hasn’t seen the game or the clip she’s judging either.

The “specialist” has no idea what is involved in the actual “situation” about which they’re talking.  She spews some basic, textbook psycho-babble about a perceived, hypothetical situation that she imagines about how children can’t deal with sex.  Next she proceeds to get angry and holier-than-thou when it’s obvious that she as well as anybody watching objectively knows that she doesn’t have a clue what she’s fighting against.  This woman is a joke.   “Let me at him” she says at the end?  Lady, you obviously lost.  You were confused and you had no point and to make it worse it was obvious and you knew it and you still tried to play smug and educated which only made you look like more of a fucking moron.

Should a game with an evil booby get a mature rating?  Maybe.  Maybe you should watch your fucking children.  I love the idiot comment about children not being constantly supervised like they were in previous times.  The times haven’t changed, people have.  You as a parent have no less responsibility now than you did 5, 10, 40 years ago.  It is your job to control what your kids do and if you fail that is your fault and your fault alone and that is 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.  Don’t try to censor shit because you’re an inept parent who thinks it’s your right to parent when you can manage it.  You popped the little fucker out you control it.

Sex isn’t evil.  Nudity isn’t evil.  Breasts and vaginas and penises and assholes and everything in-between are not evil.  These are natural parts of a natural human body and it’s nothing more than your medieval beliefs and rules against seeing them that make them evil.  If God created the vagina I’m guessing he didn’t do it as a cruel joke to embarrass a woman and he didn’t create a penis so the man would have something to make him uncomfortable in the morning.  Oh sex is so evil and forbidden ooooh don’t do it and don’t watch it... but be sure to have kids to further the species and be sure to teach them how evil sex is and not to do it.  Fucking morons... may your sexual organs shrivel up and fall right off your body and may they do it before you have a chance to reproduce so you can’t pass on such primitive stupidity.
Obviously not all Conservatives feel this way but this is why Liberals say that Fox News is biased to the Right.  In some glaring cases it is.  Not that every other news source isn’t biased to the left but that doesn’t make it any less true.  How about this news sources on both sides.  Report the actual fact about what is occurring.  The whole fact would be awesome... all of it... in entirety.  Once you’ve done that, shut the fuck up.  You are news commentators, anchors, slash whatevers because you were prettyish, not because you were smart.  Lets face it, communications is not a difficult major, and you just happened to be not too stupid to fail to obtain passing marks in it.  You are not qualified to make observations, and many of you are barely qualified to tie your own shoes so just sit there, look pretty, say exactly what is happening without adding what you think, and then shut up again.  K?  MMMM K.  We as the viewers will then decide what we think about the subject all for our very selves and all on our very own.

Oh, and don’t give me a specialist when what is called for is a Doctor.  If I decide to be a specialist in parenting it just means that’s what I’m focused on, not that I know jack shit about doing it correctly and especially not that a centralized governing body is willing to certify that I do.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

More Completely Rational and Very Perceptive Accusations From Big Hugo



Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez has had yet another one of his shining revelations on Sunday.  Chavez, who’s friends know him as “the crazy, paranoid, asshole in charge” accused the United States of using the earthquake in Haiti as a pretext to occupy the devastated Caribbean country and offered to send fuel from his OPEC nation.

It is a fact that Haiti is strategic to the United States in so many ways it could make one’s head spin.  Haiti is located in the Ocean which means it’s practically made out of gold.  Not only is Haiti in the ocean but it’s also just Southeast of the beautiful island resort destination of the stars... Cuba.  Actually, now that I think about it, that joke is rather ironic considering how close to commie most of the misinformed fucktards in Hollywood actually are.

Orrr... Haiti is approximately 10714 square miles of uneducated, poverty stricken, psuedo-war-zone which now, also, has very little real-estate left either.  (I use the term real-estate very loosely... In this case it refers to anything a person can dwell in, on, or under, such as a piece of metal, several boards tied together with a haggard piece of rope, a refrigerator box, etc.)

"I read that 3,000 soldiers are arriving, Marines armed as if they were going to war. There is not a shortage of guns there, my God. Doctors, medicine, fuel, field hospitals, that's what the United States should send," Chavez said on his weekly television show which is translated into English as Hello Megalomaniacal Socialist Dictator.  Ok, maybe I lied about that part, it’s actually Hello President, he calls himself the President, isn’t that cute. "They are occupying Haiti undercover” he continued.

Chavez does have a point.  Why send all the troops, why not just send the medical supplies, generators, fuel, food, etc., there and let the people distribute it amongst themselves?  Surely the people of Haiti, though violent and fairly lawless before the quake, will have come together in an exemplary show of humanity and kindness.  I can see it now, the stronger would fairly and evenly ration everything out to their poorer and weaker brethren.  It is simply not conceivable to think that people would turn to looting , lynch mobs and general violence to solve their problems.

It is another common fact that, the United States is trying desperately to snag this wonderful prospect before all of the other vultures get their hands on it.  Chavez sees through the ruse and realizes that what America is always trying to obtain.  What America can never get enough of, is emaciated, uneducated, French speaking black men and women with no employable skills whatsoever (other than the ability to reproduce).  If only we can gain control of Haiti, the world shall kneel before our greatness once more!      

Chavez continued in saying “on top of that, you don't see them in the streets. Are they picking up bodies? ... Are they looking for the injured? You don't see them. I haven't seen them. Where are they?"  Upon further investigation it was determined by Chavez’s optometrist that he had in fact not seen them and there were fortunately no discernible vision problems involved.  As it turns out, and was pointed out by one of Chavez’s top aids, El Presidente Chavez was facing South at the time.  When told that in order to see them his Excellent Presidente would need to turn to the slight Northwest he repeatedly shuffled his feet about without actually turning and continued to say “I still don’t see them!”  The aid that pointed out Chavez's direction miscalculation was “unavailable forever for comment.”

Chavez promised to send as much gasoline as Haiti needs for electricity generation and transport.  This is fortunate because gasoline is exactly what Haiti needs to run its impressive fleet of trucks to transport goods, people, and services.



What makes this even better is that the one generator on the island also runs on gasoline.  Even if the fleet of trucks were to fail and the generator were to break, the people of Haiti needn’t fear because Hugo’s generous and relevant gift of Gasoline is so delicious and nutritious they will at least not continue to go hungry.

A perennial foe of U.S. "imperialism," Chavez said he did not wish to diminish the humanitarian effort made by the United States and was only questioning the need for so many troops.  This is very true because there aren’t more than a handful of large, violent factions/gangs in the whole country.  Not more than several hundred small, armed, bands willing to kill for a snickers bar, or steal whatever else they want.  And there are not more than a few thousand firearms to be had for use by these factions.  It’s true Hugo, there is no need for all these troops.  Why all the soldiers America?  Hugo and I know what you’re up to, and we have our eyes on you!
  


The United States is sending more than 5,000 Marines and soldiers to Haiti, and a hospital ship is due to arrive later this week.  You may have remembered Chavez saying on his show that hospitals were needed and the U.S. was sending troops instead of those.  This is true as well, and you should be aware that he said they needed field hospitals.  This is because hospital ships don’t count, the hospital must be in the field in order to work.  Without the field hospital on dry land it is simply useless.  Bandages, medicines, food, etc., simply don’t work while on boats and the United States should know this.

Venezuela has sent several planes to Haiti with Venezuelan citizens who have been told that they are doctors, aid and some citizens who have been appointed as soldiers. A Russia-Venezuela mission was set to leave Venezuela on Monday carrying aid on Russian planes.  Which were build in 1971 and are the absolute, top of the line (though slightly rusty... and drafty) aircraft in the Russian fleet.  It is guaranteed that most of the Russia-Venezuela fleet will arrive safe and sound in Haiti eventually.

Chavez said Venezuela's planes were the first to land in Haiti after Tuesday's 7.0 magnitude earthquake, which wrecked the capital Port-Au-Prince and killed as many as 200,000 people.  Chavez also said that his planes were the first to land on Mars and that he invented the internet before Al Gore.  Chavez also insisted that polar bears are American undercover agents attempting to secure the prime real-estate in the arctic regions, and the United States is in fact the one who killed Jesus.

Monday, January 18, 2010

I'm Sick of Haiti... No, Really, I Don't Care At All

It turns out that Haiti rattled and fell down.  Oh no, boo-hoo, what in the world shall we ever do.  Have you seen this in the news?  I thought so, it’s in all the news every second all day long since it happened.  Now all those poor Haitians are poor and hungry and don’t have any homes to live in.  We need to send them money!  All the celebrities are telling us so.  That must be because Brad and Angelina must simply not have the funds to help and plain old you and I do.  (I’m surprised they haven’t adopted the whole country already) President Big Ears is telling us so but we’re all aware that he simply loves a chance to flush money down the shitter. 

Frankly, I’m fucking sick of it.  I’m sick and tired of it all, I simply don’t care at all what happens to Haiti.  Must be because I’m racist huh?  Maybe it’s simply because I don’t care about black people?  There will be those who will say both.  It’s partly true, I don’t care about black people I don’t know.  I also don’t care about white people I don’t know either.  Unless you prove otherwise, it can be done, being actually from my own country is a good start.  I'm all about getting my own problems straight before I work on yours.  I’m simply not going to concern myself with you until I work out all of the other things that I’m already concerned with and find myself in need of a cause. 

The actual fact is this: It’s not my country, they aren’t my countrymen, they aren’t related to me, I don’t know them.  The second and more important tier is this: they were poor as dirt to begin with, they were hungry and without food in the first place, they didn’t have homes or possessions before the earthquake.  Long story short... their shanty/lean-to fell down and the shaking scared them or their emaciated farm animals if they had one.  End result?  Do-good-hippie-crusaders send money, money ends up in hands of Haitian “government” to rebuild their mansions and help resume oppression and violence against the poor. 

How about I’ll just keep my money... yeah, that sounds like a good idea.  I’m sure President Asshat will just find a way to send taxpayer money to them so I’ll get bled anyhow.  The United States will send and is already sending aid which will certainly total millions of dollars, and troops which will ultimately cost millions more.  Would somebody answer me these questions. 

Is the United States not in the midst of a recession? 

Is the United States not saddled with a MASSIVE dept to what I’ll term “bad-guy nations?” 

Now where the fuck is that money coming from that we’re sending to Haiti?

We’re borrowing that money that we’re sending to Haiti at massive interest to ourselves.

I’m pretty sure that we should simply allow the nations that actually have the money to donate the money.  That’s like if I make $20,000 a year and I rack up $500,000 in credit card debt.  Now I’ve got half a mil in debt and creditors all up my ass.  My friend Useless McPoorcountry has his mobile home washed away in a flood and he calls me all crying and shit.  Talking about, my poor family hain’t got nowhere to live no more, please help.  So I decide, “well, I don’t have any money, I have a huge debt I may never pay off, I’ll just borrow some more money to buy him a new mobile home even though I’m about to have all my possessions taken away.”

I’m sure that Useless McPoorcountry is will someday remember our generosity and pay us back when we’re in need, just like France did a half century later when we needed assistance in “The War on Terror.” Gee, I think that pretty goddamn accurately sums it up.  If Wyclef wants to send money and assistance he can take his ass to Haiti and deliver his own “earned” (which is arguable) money to them.  Don’t take MY money out of the taxes I payed to help MY country, without my permission.  If you think that’s “inhumane” or even “inhuman” I don’t really care so fuck you.  We’re not a completely socialist world yet, you have your crusades and I have mine.  I don’t feel bad when I see the save the starving Africans commercials and I just don’t feel bad for the Haitians.  In fact, the more attempts he, she, they make at making me feel bad in an attempt to guilt me into sending my money, the less I care and the more I want that country to simply sink into the ocean to never be seen again.

Monday, January 11, 2010

China Is Running Out of Women

First and foremost I would like to say that I know I have taken an unusually large break from my rantings, for this I am sorry.  I hope, and I’m guessing that most of you get about in your days and weeks just fine without my random bitch fests.  I’ve been very busy lately and continue to be very busy so I haven’t had much time for posting.  For this reason I have been just waiting for something that stood out as worthy of a hearty verbal beating.  I think this might be the one.

I have to say, that I hate a lot of things.  Some of you may think hate is a strong word and that I’m probably being dramatic.  I’m always dramatic but I really do hate this one.  I hate China!  I don’t hate the Chinese people per say, I don’t know them so I can’t really hate them.  What I hate is their country, their government, and it’s policies.  There are certain things that stand out more than others, but they have a lot of them.  Some of the fucked up shit they eat (ex. Dogs).  Some of the archaic and generally medieval beliefs about stupid “home remedies” like endangered tiger penis’ that if snorted in a low light setting while chanting making your man junk stand up straighter.

The idea that it is perfectly acceptable to industrialize 100% of a country and cause species to go extinct at the rate of water dropping over Angel Falls.  General lack of a shit to give about any sort of human rights at all if it conflicts with becoming a superpower.  I’m no environmental crusader by far, but I do think that all countries should regulate certain things.  China’s insistence on being allowed to pollute the earth with lead, mercury, and any other hazardous wastes they see fit at as high a rate as they can manage in the name of money pisses me right the fuck off.  I’ve heard the argument that “powers” did so 100 years ago and that’s why they are superpowers.  Great, now we know better so go fuck yourselves China.      

This is primarily why I find this particular article rather hilarious.  It turns out that yet another retarded Chinese practice/belief is going to begin to bare rotten fruit... soonish.

More than 24 million Chinese men of marrying age could find themselves without spouses in 2020, state media reported.   The study, by the government-backed Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, named the gender imbalance among newborns as the most serious demographic problem for the country's population.

"Sex-specific abortions remained extremely commonplace, especially in rural areas," where the cultural preference for boys over girls is strongest, the study said, while noting the reasons for the gender imbalance were "complex."

Researcher Wang Guangzhou said the skewed birth ratio could lead to difficulties for men with lower incomes in finding spouses, as well as a widening age gap between partners.  According to Dillinger there really isn’t a problem there either.  Allow me to explain.  China can take up the wonderful and peaceful religion of Islam.  This will allow them to mercilessly rape and molest the women they do have in the name of Allah and cause the birth rates to skyrocket.  Once the new round of female births reach the age of 9 they can be sold into loveless marriages with men old enough to be their grandfathers and this will close the gap.

Another researcher quoted by the newspaper, Wang Yuesheng, said men in poorer parts of China would be forced to accept marriages late in life or remain single for life, which could "cause a break in family lines” which nobody would notice anyhow because there are only upwards of 36 last names for the entire population.

"The chance of getting married will be rare if a man is more than 40 years old in the countryside. They will be more dependent on social security as they age and have fewer household resources to rely on," Wang said.  So it turns out that communism doesn’t work?  NO WAY!  It’s a good thing somebody finally tested it after so many years so we finally know.

The situation influenced people to seek male offspring, who are preferred for their greater earning potential as adults and thus their ability to care for their elderly parents.  Dillinger doesn’t see the problem.  A 50 year old virgin son with no wife or kids will have even more money to spend on asbestos lined adult diapers and bootlegged, lead infused Ensure for mom and pop.

The Global Times said abductions and trafficking of women were "rampant" in areas with excess numbers of men, citing the National Population and Family Planning Commission.  Illegal marriages and forced prostitution were also problems in those areas, it said.  Alla hu Akbar?

The study said that in some areas the male-female ratio was as high as 130 males for every 100 females, a report by the Mirror Evening newspaper said.  The report said the study urged the government to relax the so-called "one-child" policy and study the possibility of encouraging "cross-country marriages."  An excellent policy change this would be too.  When you’re already living with 19 people per square inch in “populated” areas what is another 5 or 6?  This is why we are built with laps.  Besides, those pesky animals are just taking up valuable space and making no contributions in other areas so they can always be evicted.  What the hell good is a fat, bumbling, bamboo eating, black and white bear anyhow?

China first implemented its population control policy in 1979, generally limiting families to one child, with some exceptions for rural farmers, ethnic minorities and other groups.  Researchers said the gender imbalance problem cropped up in the late 1980s when the use of ultrasound technology became more prevalent.  This allowed women to easily determine the sex of their foetuses, leading to an increased number of sex-selective abortions.

Good call China, you guys are too awesome for your own good.  You just keep on keepin’ on.  Soon you’ll be all depressed, hanging out with your blue balls and contraband porn, wankin’ yourself raw while sitting in a puddle of your own lead contaminated tears.  You could always invest in some Japanese technology like Love Plus to ease the loneliness and get your pedo on.



Or if you exhaust yourself with morbid depression and self-loathing.




Or if you need something to cuddle in your infinite sadness or to hump away at when you finally snap.